Lit Class 2002

(Sorry, ppl but you will have to click on the pic to enlarge yourselves.)

As i read this letter, i was suddenly overwhelmed with emotions,

memories come crashing in. I am reading this letter with tears in my

eyes but a smile on my face.

I am thankful to all the teachers who had ever

gave me words of encouragement or simply just an assuring smile.

I am who i am because of you. Thank you.

This post is a little late because it happened last Sun. But anyway i need to tell you guys!

DO NOT VISIT NIHON MURA JAPANESE RESTAURANT

(Commonly known as Re Ben Chun)!!!

A few reasons why:

• Never once we felt 'welcomed' by any staff from the time we stepped into the restaurant.

• There was a particular staff, a girl, who was rushing here and there screaming EXCUSE ME! Even when the place has very limited space, and as a server i think she should be the one letting the guest go first. And she was dashing ard the 'restuarant' knowing that she will knock someone over sooner or later.

• The Chawamushi is dead cold. I mean i didnt order egg pudding or something?

• The Chicken Katsu Curry is served and cooked in a clay pot. Like the Korean Stone Pot Rice? Ends up with alot of hard and 'chao-ta' rice at the bottom making it impossible to eat without losing feeling in your teeth(because of all the rice stuck at your teeth). To top things up, Chicken Katsu with 2 drops of curry? Have you eaten anything like that before? Not a Don, Not a Bento, Not curry either? WHat the fish?

• The Salmon Sashimi is like the worst off all? Who has ever eaten sashimi with fish scales in them? Raise your hands pls? What the fish? Other than the old Genki Sushi i never thought i would ever come across a worst place, they claimed to be a Jap Restaurant. Not only that. The grains on the fish was like coming off. Wanna eat Salmon Sashimi in Strips?

• The mini lobster dish. The lobsters are worst than prawns. I meant Lobsters are like the king of prawns, yet it tasted worst than prawns. All hard and dried-up.

• Very much over-priced. Ate only these few dishes and it cost 60bucks for 2. It has nothing to do with the price. But it is truely insulting that these so claimed ' Jap Restaurants' are charging prices that are totally unreasonable given their quality of food as well as service.

• They charge GST when they are worst than food court hawkers and Service Charge when they do not provide SERVICE at all!! All the food and stuff and self-service!

I still dun get it why the newspaper once featured them as a recommendation. But well, ppl always say these stuff are so commercialize that you dun really get the best things..

Anyway, on another note. I think i need to express my gratitudes to Mr Tan Dien. For being a third party in my relationship. Well, those who dont know who. Dien is bf's 'childhood' friend, while I knew him during my Sheraton Days. He has been a steady friend.

Well, according to my last post, i was totally disappointed and losing hope. I am glad we met up with him last Fri for a drinking session again. Despite how hard we tried, we still talked thru the night till 6am. My god. Well, morale of the story is that he managed to make me see stuff which i couldnt and realised stuff that i didnt. At the end of the day, i was able to breathe again. So thank you my friend!

WHO AM I?

Actually I dont know how to start off. I cant tell exactly what's bothering me,

just that things aint exactly too good between me and bf. There's nothing

technically wrong abt the whole thing, maybe I am the reason why something

seems wrong. Everytime ppl ask me if i still felt love or being loved. I seriously

did ask myself that question and I thought to myself, the answer is YES. But

somehow something keep tugging me at the end of my mind, with this thorn

in the flesh there is no way i can feel thoroughly happy and blissed. True, we

do have happy moments, but i always felt that they are so short-lived.

Everything something happens, you forget all those smiles and laughters

when you are happy.

There are times when I cant help but wonder, what will life be like if I

was without him, if our relationship was just to end. I dont know actually,

but I feel a sense of numb sadness in me when I imagine he was not there

anymore. No one to take my shit, no one to be there, just standing there

when I dont feel like talking abt it. But I know ultimately, no one will die

literally because someone left.

Nevertheless, is it worth keeping the relationship if there are so many times

you feel so drained and tired? Is the relationship a too heavy one? Are there

too many scars from the relationship that it is better off that we both walk

away to start afresh?

Like I said, there is nothing technically wrong. But it is difficult and straineous

to carry upon someone else's load on top of my already heavy one. It was

bearable in the beginning, but as time goes by, things happen, scars are

inevitable.

People say, 'Do be careful of what you wish for'.

Many years ago I wished that he was better off in his career: It came

true, but gone was his attentiveness, in came his short-tempered-ness.

Some years ago, I wished that he was more independent: It came true,

but gone was his willingness to listen and to discuss issues, in came his

'acting-on-his-own'.

Yet some more time ago, I wished that he could have more plans for his or

maybe even our future: It came true, he went to take his Diploma,

but gone was our connection, in came a big gap between us.

Many years ago, some one said to me, " Your expectations are too high for him,

did it even occur to you that it is gonna create alot of stress for him and alot of

strain on the relationship?"

It haunts me till today. Now that I think back, I think what he said is true.

Some time ago, some one said to me," Maybe this is not the way he wants life to

be, different people want different things. You need plans, power and have high

expectations abt life, but maybe he needs something lesser. Maybe all he wants

is a simple life, a wife, two kids, a normal, 'enough-to-support-family' kinda income."

Perhap its because of me, because of my own desire, my own expectations. I was

thinking, when did this begin? When did it started that we no longer laugh over

silly matters? When did it started that we stopped feeling happy abt things we felt

happy abt intitially? When did it started that we no longer talk abt love and all

we talk abt is practical, realistic and un-happy stuff?

Then I asked myself, did I changed into some one I didnt even recognised? Is

that parts and parcels of my life? When did I become so revengeful?

Before I entered NUS, I always thought uni people have a certain way they

think abt themselves, a certain attitude. Some even said that uni people are

very arrogant, but deep down they lose out in the corporate world, because

they have no experience and are not at all humble.

That day I knew that I was part of NUS, I sweared to myself that I will not

become one of 'those'.

But today I asked myself again, Did I become one of them?

How do I define it?

Traits of a NUS student ( Of cos it doesnt mean every single one and these

purely represent my personal views):

• Simply swell-headed

• Confident/over-confident

• Believes strongly in their own views & what they say is important, even when sometimes its simply crap

• Talk abt clubs,societies & committees as if they rule

• Selfish, ultimately you hope that the other person wakes up late or forget abt the examinations

Maybe I have become one of them. I dont know.

Some one once told me," Girls study so much for what? The duty of a wife

is to take care of the husband, not to help him spend money. Study means

you spend his money."

I cant tell you how, but I was totally stung by this. Till today, I couldnt

convince myself to forgive and forget. It pierced me like a knife, but she

didnt bother to understand how important it is to me. She didnt know how

much it means to me.

Imagine how you will feel. In your entire life, everyone has looked down on

you, thinking that you are a good for nothing, one day you are gonna end up

disgracing your family honour by getting pregnant before you get married and

giving birth to a bastard. The words that come out from relatives and teachers

are dripping with sarcasm.

Finally, you did something right for once, instead of encouragement and praises,

this is what you get. Waste money.

1stly: I got a bank loan which i need to repay with my own money when i finish

my studies,, your son didnt put me thru sch.

2ndly: Although I am student, i do earn my own income, at least enough for

survival.

3rdly: What kinda fucking man will your son be, if every movie and dinner

will be paid by the girl?

4thly: What do you mean by courtship? I pay for everthing? Or we dont go

out at all? Or do we stick ourselves at home all the time like some pathetic losers?

Though this happened quite some time ago, everytime i think abt it makes

my blood boil. After this, I sorta changed. A fire raged in me that I want to

prove them wrong, my expectations abt me and abt him increased, because

I want to be better. I will not rest until I've proven myself.

It might have seem unnecessary to you, but it is important to me. Perhaps

i'm just trying to prove to myself ultimately. I didnt know that this revengeful

fire in me is destructive to myself, to him, to us.

Perhaps it was still bearable if i know he is standing on the same line as me,

perhaps if we still have that connection. Not when everytime i talk he wants

to fall asleep, mind you we are not talking on the bed. Not when everytime

I try to bring a point forward he gets defensive.

I am tried of trying. Maybe things will just work out ultimately. I dont know.

I am letting it go, to go to where the wind takes us. Other than my own life, i

cant take charge of anyone else's.

• Since when we stop going out?

• Since when it is so difficult to just meet up?

• What happen to just you and me rotting together?

• What happen to laughing under the sun?

• He moved on, he moved on, she moved on and now you are gone too

• You told me this is part of growing up, it pierced me like a knife

• I thought you will always be there, but i guess i was naive

• I thought we survived that, we would survive anything

• Yes you can hold my hand if you want to, cause i wanna hold yours too

• I am where you left me, waiting for you to come back

• It pains me to know that memories are all i have

• When you're gone, the things i came to know is missing too

• I am tired of waiting and hoping

• I no longer wait for your regular calls

• I no longer leap up when you call

• I no longer wish that you will turn back and look at me

• When you turn back, if you ever will, you will find that i have left too

Disgusting Delifrance.

Dark Rings.

The Chicken.Prawn & Jellyfish.

Mr Pig.

100% Crabmeat.

At night we went to the infamous MBK. Bullshit again. I think its a total waste

of my time. I dun understand how come everyone goes Bkk goes there and claim

that its so wonderful. End up stocking up on my Watson's products as they are

cheaper than SG. Headed back to our hotel early, bought beer to drown ourselves.

But i guess i was really too tired because i dun even rem zonking out without

even touching my drink. Poor bf end up "He Men Jiu'. Haha.

DAY 2:

Woke up at 0555. I thought i saw bf faint when i woke him up and told him

it was 6am. Haha. I felt totally refreshed as i slept at 10pm the previous night.

We decided to go for our Klong(River Boat) ride that morning.

Favourite Breakfast Buffet.

Look At His 'Steam' Face.

So off we went for a Klong ride for 1000Baht. Overpriced!! But well for the

experience, fine! Its like in another part of Bkk, not lavish nore glamourous

but very down-to-earth and realistic. Finally destination: Wat Pho (Reclining Buddha)

1000 Baht Klong

Setting Off.

River Folks.

Wat Arun.

Tha Tien

Wat Pho.

Random.

Mr Tuk Tuk.

Favourite Tom Yum Kung.

Pineapple Rice.

Wat Yai Chaya

Sticking Gold Foils On Buddha's Body.

Golden Buddha.

Feeding The Fish.

So Many The Fish.

Cute Baby Elephant.

Our Turn.

Elephant Riding.

Views on Elephant 1.

Views On Elephant 2.

All are impressive. But the most impressive of all is also the largest ruins of all.

Wat Maha That. An old Monk Monastery which was partly destroyed by war

few thousand years ago. We can still feel the former grandeur of the place.

As you know Thailand is supposed to be very religious, it was even more

profound a few thousand years back. The sheer size of the structures already

made a statement.

The Entrance.

Funny.

The Sheer Size.

Wat Maha That.

Ruins.

Sweet.

Prawns That Are No Longer As Nice.

Fins.

P.S I dun know what happened to my Scallop Dish Pic and i figured out that no one is interested in the Kang kong Dish.

ME:

• 7 tops
• 1 tailor-made pants
• 2 bangles
• 1 Hp pouch
• 1 clutch pouch
• 1 pair of shoes
• 1 Bikini
• 1 Shishedo facial wash
• 1 Shishedo skin softener
• 1 Estee Lauder Mascara
• 1 Burberry Perfume
• 1 Baileys
• 1 Jacob Creeks' Sparkling Rose

Mum:

• 2 tops

Dad:

• 1 shirt
• 1 belt

Bro:

• 1 shirt
• 1 T-shirt
• 1 belt

Happy:

• 1 retractable leash
• 1 collar
• 2 pairs of shoes
• 1 dog shirt

BF:

• 3 long sleeve shirts
• 1 short sleeve shirt
• 1 pair of shoes
• 1 bermudas
• 1 polo t
• 3 ties
• 10 pieces of DVD RW
• 1 2GB Kingston USB

Total Spending: 1.3K SGD

Ps: BF got promoted and is working as a LOGISTIC OFFICER wef the

recent MON!! Congrats!!

PPS: BF got me a belated bday present! The

*BLING BLING* slippers from Pazzion!! The slippers

which i always stick my face on the display window just

to get a glance of it?? OMG!! ( I dun know what happened to

the pic again)